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How many times has this happened to you?

You put 10 socks in the washer and when you empty the dryer, only 9 are there.
You scrape the washer, impeccably search the dryer and diligently follow your path from the laundry room to the bedroom and no missing sock.

Somewhere in the laundry process, the renegade sock escaped.

My wife has this basket of unmatched socks in our bedroom, hoping for that day when she finds a mate in another load. The day never comes. It’s a mystery we all encounter.

Have you ever thought of this? Perhaps, socks are monogamous or monogosox if you prefer.

When I buy my socks, it’s usually in a 3 pack or 6 pack or whatever and the socks are all neatly matched, usually bound together with a small seemingly annoying plastic piece, that to socks are perhaps a wedding rings of sorts.

And what do we do? We rip apart their band, step on them all day long and then throw them in a hamper when we are done. Leave them there for a few days or so with shirts and trousers and more socks and throw them in a vat of soapy water.

They soon learn that the odds of 12 socks ever being perfectly matched together again are 0.00757575. (Just trust me, my sister Susan is a math geek and got that stat for Wedwand in under a minute.)

As they splash about getting agitated, rinsed and spun you can almost hear them scream, “Bobby, where are you?”

“I’m here, Crew. I promise I’ll never be matched with another.”

It’s kinda like the Titanic for those socks when they get dropped in the washer. The agitator looms like an iceberg in the machine. As the water pours into the tub and the soap is added, they splash about with the suds getting higher.

By the time the fabric softener is added, you can almost hear Celine singing, “Near far, wherever you are…” as socks splash about frantically in the tub. There is no lifeboat coming to the rescue today.

Alas, one sock ultimately goes missing from the load in search of their mate. And THAT’s the sock we’re missing when it comes time to pair socks in the folding process.

Mystery solved.

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Time for Wedwand’s 5th annual Thanksgiving Eve address to the nation.

I willingly profess Thanksgiving to be my favorite holiday. It has no pretense. It has no hype. And every year it reminds me to be thankful for what I have.

Thanksgiving is a holiday without a lot of glitter. Just turkey, trimmings, dinner traditions and just maybe a little giving of thanks along the way.

It’s a holiday that’s become accustomed to be trampled on by the greedy retailers of Christmas. But it is not without a few media sources out there that honor the day in their setting. Here’s three of them:

1) I recently “discovered” one of these traditions to be a folk song by Arlo Guthrie called Alice’s Restaurant actually formally titled “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree.”

Now there is no Alice’s Restaurant in the song as the song will tell you. In addition, the song is roughly 16 to 18 minutes long and it has nothing at all to do with Thanksgiving Day other than the fact that the story of the song takes place ON Thanksgiving Day.

And even though Arlo Guthrie has been singing this song since 1967 or so, and many people have listened to it as a Thanksgiving tradition, it wasn’t until just a couple years back that I actually took the full 16 to 18 minutes to listen to the tune which is more or less Arlo telling a quite captivating tale, at a time when folksingers told tales, that happened after a “Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat” while accompanying himself on the guitar. And by golly, it’s a Thanksgiving tradition of mine now too.

If you just want to be entertained by a guitar accompanied story for about 18 minutes and 15 seconds give it a listen: (People these days might call it a “Podcast”):

Or, if you just want the short version you can sing along, “You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant. Walk right in it’s around the back just about a half a mile from the railroad tracks.”

2) Another media tradition is the 1992 movie “Scent of a Woman” starring Al Pacino and Chris O’Donnell. It’s set at Thanksgiving Break and includes an infamous dysfunctional Thanksgiving meal as well as a blind man who can Tango and if only for a couple blocks or two, drive a Ferrari and an incredibly inspiring back story.
Here’s the Tango:

The movie won Pacino an Oscar and was named the Best Motion Picture by the Golden Globes. A few quotable lines have become recurrent with my wife and me over the years.

“I’m in the dark here.”
“I saw something.”
“Oh, I’m just getting warmed up”
“And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, F_ _ _ you too.”

3) And of course, there’s the “Turkeys Away” episode from the 1970’s TV series, WRKP in Cincinnati. I found a 30 second mash up of the episode in case you don’t have the 25 minutes to watch the whole episode:

“As God as my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly.”

Below are the links to the four previous Wedwand Thanksgiving Eve entries. I thank you for your support over these five years.

https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2016/11/23/giving-thanks-for-thanksgiving-part-four/
https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2015/11/25/tales-of-the-giving/
https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/the-393rd/
https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/on-the-eve-of-thanks-give-it/

Of course, we end with the John Mellancamp Pink Houses YouTube salute to America on this Thanksgiving Holiday!


It’s Autumn, or as the leaves call it, Fall.

Slyly, it begins at different times for different folk. Everyday seasons.

For some, the American Holiday Labor Day signals the end of summer, ergo Autumn begins the day after Labor Day.

Purists cling to the Autumnal Equinox as the beginning of Autumn. This year it happened on September 22, 2017.

Others say October marks the beginning of Autumn. As a matter of fact, there’s a whole festival named in honor of the month. Octoberfest celebrates the coming of the autumnal season and is officially held each year in Munich, Bavaria, Germany.

Oddly enough however, Octoberfest begins in September there. AND, the Germans even spell it Oktoberfest. It’s like they’ve got a whole different language or something.

A few things I notice more about October now than I did in years past.

Pumpkins. They’re everywhere, they’re everywhere. Not just the big spheroid orange squash family things you carve, but myriad derivatives of pumpkin products presently proliferate.

There’s Pumpkin Spiced Coffee, Pumpkin Ale, Pumpkin Cream Cheese, Pumpkin Bread, Pumpkin Bars, Pumpkin Ice Cream, Pumpkin Oatmeal, Pumpkin Spice, Pumpkin Pie and even Pumpkin in a can.

AND, the pumpkin is indeed seasonally autumnal. Try pawning off a pumpkin brew or a pumpkin pie on the 4th of July. Somehow, our tastes are seasonally conditioned.

Haunted houses. So many many more of them. Not the REAL haunted houses, but the “for profit” ones that proliferate the area now and charge $30 to $50 bucks for the privilege to be scared. Every day, I get Groupon offers. People, I live in Chicago. There are streets I can visit every single day and get scared for free. Taking a pass on the “for profit” haunted houses.

Apples. Who hasn’t gone apple picking if you live in the American Midwest? It’s a tradition. It’s fun reaching and plucking the fruit, filling the bag full with apples. Then, when you arrive home your very first thought is, “What the heck and I going to do with all these apples?”

When you buy pumpkins, your choices are small, medium, or large. Ah, but with apples, there’s: Blondie, Braeburn, Gala, Jonathan, Jonagold, Winesap, Macintosh, Corlands, Fuji, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Granny Smith, and Honey Crisp, just to name a few. (Watch out. The honey crisp cost more in Michigan.) Oddly, I have found no apple variety named Bob, but yet we bob for apples.

A fun fact from sixwise dot com. You could eat a different apple every day for more than 19 years,

Many proclaim Autumn to be their favorite season; the colors, the refreshing weather, the apples, the pumpkins, the beer are all reasons why. I happen to be among the many and will celebrate the season accordingly.

FOOTNOTE:
Original inspiration for this post was in 2013. Here’s the post:
https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2013/10/09/autumn-or-do-you-say-fall/

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