You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April 2018.

How many times has this happened to you?

You put 10 socks in the washer and when you empty the dryer, only 9 are there.
You scrape the washer, impeccably search the dryer and diligently follow your path from the laundry room to the bedroom and no missing sock.

Somewhere in the laundry process, the renegade sock escaped.

My wife has this basket of unmatched socks in our bedroom, hoping for that day when she finds a mate in another load. The day never comes. It’s a mystery we all encounter.

Have you ever thought of this? Perhaps, socks are monogamous or monogosox if you prefer.

When I buy my socks, it’s usually in a 3 pack or 6 pack or whatever and the socks are all neatly matched, usually bound together with a small seemingly annoying plastic piece, that to socks are perhaps a wedding rings of sorts.

And what do we do? We rip apart their band, step on them all day long and then throw them in a hamper when we are done. Leave them there for a few days or so with shirts and trousers and more socks and throw them in a vat of soapy water.

They soon learn that the odds of 12 socks ever being perfectly matched together again are 0.00757575. (Just trust me, my sister Susan is a math geek and got that stat for Wedwand in under a minute.)

As they splash about getting agitated, rinsed and spun you can almost hear them scream, “Bobby, where are you?”

“I’m here, Crew. I promise I’ll never be matched with another.”

It’s kinda like the Titanic for those socks when they get dropped in the washer. The agitator looms like an iceberg in the machine. As the water pours into the tub and the soap is added, they splash about with the suds getting higher.

By the time the fabric softener is added, you can almost hear Celine singing, “Near far, wherever you are…” as socks splash about frantically in the tub. There is no lifeboat coming to the rescue today.

Alas, one sock ultimately goes missing from the load in search of their mate. And THAT’s the sock we’re missing when it comes time to pair socks in the folding process.

Mystery solved.