You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July 2016.

GE DIGITAL CAMERA
Getting ready for a vacation this week, so will post an edited rerun of a previous post related to travel while I pack my bags.

Here’s my running diary about a January airline trip from Los Angeles to Chicago in 2014. All times are AM:

Why do they abbreviate airports with three character cryptic codes? LAX for Los Angeles makes some sense. LA’s fine the sun shines most the time and the feeling is, laid back, reLAX.

ORD for Chicago, not so much. Chicago pizza is certainly not ORDinary. At least I am not flying to Sioux City, Iowa or as they call it SUX.

5:55 I was fortunate enough to get a seat on an exit aisle with actual leg room. Before we take off, a flight attendant informs me that I am seated in the exit aisle and asks if I am ready, willing, and able to assist should an emergency occur.

I assure her that if I can have this seat, I will also hand wash her uniform and spit shine her shoes. “Please please don’t make me move to the Houdini seats.” She doesn’t smile but asks my row mate the same question.

6:20 Crackle sound, “Uh this is your captain speaking. (Whew for a moment there, I thought we flew too high and it was God.) Welcome aboard our flight to Chicago where the temperature is five below zero Celsius. ”

OK, I get it. Not only are you the ‘way too cool guy’ who can fly an airplane, but you also know the temperature on a scale that nobody else in America refers to.

6:30 In-flight entertainment varies these days. On some flights, you get a free movie. On some, you get nothing, but they still put the headphones in the pocket in front of you just to tease you.

On this one, there are individual video screens right in front of you running live shows that STOP every five minutes the instant you are in the air.

Then, here comes the plug. For $6.99, you can watch the rest of the show or anything you want. I just paid $450.00 for this flight, I get no nuts, no pretzels, no meal and now you want seven bucks to watch TV? I pass.

6:45 The video screen runs the same ads over and over again. Something with Kevin Bacon, and by golly tart cherry juice can apparently raise the dead. Pay $6.99 for more information. I pass again.

7:00 The flight attendant brings the cart down the aisle. I was hungry and looked at the options. A hard-boiled egg, 10 grapes and a wedge of cheese. The only meat apparent is the Bacon on the screen in front of me. They want $6.99 for this too. Once more, I pass.

7:30 The beverage cart comes now. I consider a beer, but that costs … yep you guessed it, $6.99. I opt for a ginger ale. For the price of 2 beers, I can buy a whole case back home. The flight attendant also informs me there is no tart cherry juice on the cart.

7:45 The seat belt light has been off for an hour or so and while we were free to move about the cabin, only a few people dare. I am standing in the aisle, about to answer an urgent call of nature strategizing how to negotiate the 3 foot by 5 foot lavatory when a ding comes. Captain Celsius tells us, “We’ve hit a bit of turbulence, so please take your seats and fasten your seat belts.” He does not tell us the temperature.

OK, not only do I have to hold it in, I get to shake around for a while too with my belt fastened tightly around my waist. At least I have leg room. Eventually, I am free to move about the cabin and free to relieve my bladder.

8:00 There are two business clones in the aisle across from me wearing garish suits who have been looking at their computers for two hours solid and mutually nodding. One gets up to use the facilities. The other follows. Odd.

8:25 Apparently Kevin Bacon plays the role of Ryan Hardy. After 27 times through the spool I have gathered that. I briefly consider dropping $6.99 just to make the preview stop.

9:00 I check out the In Flight magazine and find a boarding pass from Hawaii (or HNL if you prefer) to LAX. I also find 3 Ohio instant lottery tickets already scratched. I check, just in case. None are winners.

9:35 The announcement comes from Captain Celsius, “We are making our arrival to Chicago. Flight attendants, prepare the cabin for arrival.”

At this announcement, all the flight attendants do nothing and instantly just sit down. Apparently, this is landing preparation.

The wing flaps start making this noise that you hope is a noise they are supposed to be making and you think, “Hey, flight attendants! Did you prepare for THAT? Did you check that right wing before you sat down? It’s shaking like crazy and making noises like when the brakes went out on my car. ARE you prepared for landing!?”

9:45 Safe landing. A well-prepared flight attendant announces, “Welcome to Chicago where the temperature is 23 degrees.” (I assume we are back in good old Fahrenheit land.)

“Please stay seated until the aircraft comes to a complete stop.” (Nobody does. Most people instantly stand at that announcement. Why? I do not know. Nobody is getting off any faster because they got their bags ready quicker.)

“Contents in the overhead bins may have shifted during flight.” (The contents of my stomach did indeed shift during that landing, so likely there was some shift in the bins. Luckily however, there was not much in my stomach because I didn’t spend $6.99. The overhead bins are stuffed tighter than a 15 pound turkey with 8 pounds of stuffing on Thanksgiving Day. Likely, nothing shifted there either.)

9:55 Home sweet home. I exit the plane and the airport wearing just a sweater and realize, damn, it’s January in Chicago. Celsius or Fahrenheit, it’s cold.

But maybe this has happened to you? Share your travel story if you dare.

Advertisements

IMG_1020

A few nights ago, I had a very vivid dream that my alarm clock was about to go off. There was an angst at that moment in my sleep as I dreamed my slumber was about to be disturbed.

And then it was disturbed. My alarm actually chirped. I woke up and groggily wondered, “Did I dream that or did it really happen?” As Bill, or was it Ted said, “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” Weird very weird.

But it was all good. The word dream almost always has a positive connotation. Be it in speeches, “I have a dream.” Or in the middle of a song, “You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one.” Or as a valediction before bedtime, “Good night, sweet dreams, sleep tight.”

I know what you’re thinking. “Aren’t there bad dreams?”

Yes there are and THOSE are called Nightmares. Dreams are good. Please in this crazy world, let something be good. Dreams are good. They give us something to vision, something to strive for, something to hold on to.

If it’s a bad dream it’s a nightmare. Not a dream. Dreams are good.

There are so many songs that sing to the topic of Dreams. In fact, a song titled simply, “Dreams” has been recorded by at least five artists; Fleetwood Mac, Van Halen, The Cranberries, The Allman Brothers and Beck. And they’re ALL different songs. The Imagine Dragons had a solitary “Dream” for a song title as well.

According to an extensive study published by the Liverpool Review in 2014, after reviewing every song released since 1955, it turns out songs with dreams as the theme are the third most popular song topic of all time, surpassed only by songs about love and songs that sing of dance.

Did you buy that? I totally made that up. In this election year, we all love a little fabrication, don’t we? “Lord what fools mortals be.”

I will share a little verse about dreams that was a part of a Wedwand post from 2014. As I read the post again, it’s sort of a bizarre Shakespearean induced tale of Midsummer Night’s Dreams. (See Footnote for the link to the full text.) Here it is:

“All I Have To Do is Dream Dream Dream. Be it California Dreaming or a Daydream Believer, Sweet Dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree? Dream On.

I don’t need a Dream Weaver to tell me I Can Dream About You IF You Dream A Little Dream of Me. Now you may say, I Had Too Much to Dream (Last Night), or Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream, but These Dreams go on when I close my eyes. Have you any Dreams you’d like to sell?

In the meantime, the Dream Police are Running Down a Dream, a Teenage Dream, from Dreamboat Annie on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.”

Wedwand leaves you with this number by an Australian duo called Empire Of The Sun called “Walking on a Dream” (Maybe you heard it in a Honda Civic ad when you were dreaming of buying that new car):

FOOTNOTE:
Here’s the 2014 Midsummers Night link:
https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2014/07/16/midsummer-already/

And here’s a more recent Wedwand post on Dreams:
https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2016/03/16/a-stream-of-dreams/

In the classic movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Sundance is having a shooting try out to be a security guard in Bolivia as the celebrated outlaws try to go straight.

Percy Garris, the payroll supervisor for the Bolivian miners folds a matchbook and throws it out as a target for Sundance to hit. He misses by a foot or so as he’s forced to stand still as he shoots.

Percy is not impressed.

Then Sundance asks, “Can I move?”

“What the hell you mean move?” says Percy.

Sundance moves and obliterates the target. “I’m better when I move.”
“Bingo.” Here’s the scene in case you forgot it or never saw it:

From what I’ve seen lately, apparently many cell phone users consider themselves to be the Sundance Kid since so many of them seem to think they’re better when they are moving about on the phone.

You see them every day.

Some ambling aimlessly unmindful of their surroundings, head down rapt to image on the cell phone screen in the palm of their hand. They wander without regard to any of their fellow mankind in the immediate area. You see them doing this:

Texting in the cross walk without looking for oncoming traffic.
Wandering around in the office lobbies stepping in people’s paths.
In the checkout line at your local store, slowing down the process and boisterously bellowing blabber into their phone that nobody wants to hear.
Even going in and out of elevators in buildings.
And sadly still, while driving. Please stop.

Heads down, oblivious to anybody around them seeking only the instant satisfaction of the text. Sure they could find a place to sit still and not be anybody’s way, but like the Sundance Kid, they MUST think they’re better when they move.

Folks, you’re not better moving around on your cell phone. You’re an annoyance and endangering your own existence and those around you. Please stop.

People have taken this attitude that things just can’t wait anymore.

A couple weeks ago, I even heard a guy take a phone call in the restroom stall while dropping the kids off at the pool. For real. Let me repeat that IN THE STALL he takes a call.

Then, he’s just sitting there in the stall chatting away about something that seemed to have no significance whatsoever.

I was only there to wash my hands, but I did make a special trip to the adjacent stall just to flush the toilet a couple of times. I wanted the person on the other end of the line to capture the full ambiance of the moment and just how special his call must have been.

It’s a safety issue and Wedwand pauses before pontificating but … people please stop.

Put down the phone when you’re in motion. Even the Sundance Kid would implore you to do that.

Categories