IMG_1993 (3)The legendary Welsh singer, Tom Jones has a song among his stable of hits called “Green Green Grass of Home.” The refrain goes something like this, “It’s so good to touch the green, green grass of home.”

That was the first song that hit my head as I opened the garage door this evening. Instead, I sang, “It’s good to CUT the green green grass of home.”

Don’t cha just love cutting the grass?

Me neither.

But this time, I decided to tackle the task with a song in my heart, a lawn mower in my hands and a blog topic in my head. I walked into the garage and there she was, my gleaming 5.5 horsepower turbo motor mulching mower singing to me, “Start me up.”

Now, if your lawn mower is like mine, “start me up” is not an automatic. But, when it does finally start after several vehement tugs and a few sprinkled profanities, it’s time to hit the lawn.

From the first cut to the second, the grass has seemingly grown 25 inches in 5 days. I consider a sickle before the mower, but my sickle is in the shop, so I move on.

As I survey the daunting task ahead of me this song comes to mind, “Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games, welcome to the jungle, nanananananeees.”
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“The first cut is the deepest” and the trusty mower stutters at the task before her, but I pull back on the reins and she “Keeps on chooglin”’ through the front yard. (I do the front first cause if the mower dies at least I’ve got that done and the drive bys and the village don’t judge me.)

I try to do one of those sexy cross swatches you see in the outfield grass of baseball parks, but it fails miserably and my mower sings to me, “Put me in coach” so I just go across the front lawn back and forth back and forth back and forth. “That’s the sound of the men, working on the chain gang.”

On to the back yard. It’s a dandelion and clover field. My wife calls them weeds. I prefer to call them wild flowers and while I lobby heavily to make the back yard a prairie preserve, I am over ruled.

“Dandelions don’t care about the time, Dandelion don’t tell no lies, Dandelion will make you wise, Blow away dandelion, blow away dandelion.”

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But they don’t blow away. The trusty sleek machine takes care of the job. But these damn things sprout up overnight even if you cut them. With all due respect to Viagra, well, there MUST be something natural in the dandelions to get them up again so fast.

On to the clover part of the yard. “Crimson and clover over and over and over and over.”

The mower occasionally groans, but gets the job done eventually.

Now this would be fun if I didn’t have to do it again next week and the week after that and well, renting an apartment again seems quite the viable option.

But if I did that, when would I be able to cut the green green grass of home?

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