They call them sockS. Plural. It means there are more than one. In fact you buy them that way, in pairs.

You eventually have to wash them. In that process, inevitably, somewhere along the way, they get separated. Most times you can pair them up.

However, if your house is like my house (which incidentally is a very very very fine house), socks seemingly disappear into thin air or thick dryers or deep washers or someplace along the road.

A whole basket of wash comes out of the dryer and there are 15 socks. Not 16, not 14, but 15. If you do the rudimentary math, you will realize this is an odd number for your two feet, which is frustrating unless you are a three-toed sloth. Then 15 socks works fine for you.

At Wedwand, we like to call the three-toed sloth, a Bradypodidae. (Yeah, I looked it up, just to make sure there was such a thing as a three-toed sloth. In the process, I also learned there are two-toed sloths called Megalonychidae. The Megalonychidae would be frustrated as well by 15 socks. But I’m getting sloth the subject.)

The somewhat odd looking cover photo this week is a veritable sack o unmatched socks in our very very very fine house after laundry this weekend.

My wife was muttering and mumbling under her breath about things like, “how is it possible to have THAT many socks that don’t match” and “you’d think at least there’d be at least ONE pair in this bag, but there’s not” and ends up with, “I give up. I just give up. YOU match them!”

Knowing there was about one more load of laundry left, I uttered, “Don’t worry hun, it will all come out in the wash.”

Now, I’ve heard of that phrase, but never used that phrase and always wondered where that phrase originated and what it meant and while I am pretty sure it didn’t originate over missing socks, maybe it did. Luckily, it did elicit a chuckle from my wife.

It got so bad that we even put a tiny tracking devise on each of a pair of socks before that last load. Lo and behold, both socks were there at the end of the drying cycle. One of the tracking devices however, was nowhere to be found. OK, I made that up.

So I know what you’re thinking. Why this tale of woe over missing socks as we enter the festive Christmas season?

To enlighten the reader of course. And now you know why we only hang ONE stocking by the fireplace on Christmas. Because more than likely, we can’t find the other one.

Good Cheer!