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Fresh off the celebration of the 100th post of Wedwand, Wednesday Wanderings took to wondering why we celebrate noteworthy events on the fives and tens. The ten year, the twenty-five year, the one hundred year anniversary of an occasion all get BIG billing. We even sometimes give a name to the 100th Anniversary and call it a “Centennial.”

But, if the event merits special celebration, why not on the 3’s and 7’s? Or, maybe the 6’s and 8’s. Not many folks have a big celebration for their 17th anniversary. Pretty sure those numbers are feeling left out.

And how about one? One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. Two can be as bad as one, but then again if you know anything about 3 Dog Night, then you already knew that.

So let’s honor a tradition that began in 1621 by having a special celebration of the 393rd Thanksgiving this year.

In case you didn’t know, the Thanksgiving tradition began when an unsuspecting Indian Tribe, the Wampanoag and an English Rugby team called the Plymouth Pilgrims decided to share an autumnal feast in Massachusetts after a big match.

The Wampanoag taught the Pilgrims how to live off the land and the Pilgrims agreed to never offend the Wampanoag by naming a football team after them. And that is why to this day, you have not heard of a team in the NFL named the Washington Wampanoags.

Oh the wonderful things Wedwand can teach you.

Now many comedians would interject here, “But seriously folks.” Wedwand will not do that.

But, here’s some Thanksgiving “musts” to remember in this thrilling 393rd celebration extravaganza.

1. Never put up your Christmas decorations BEFORE Thanksgiving. The Malls and stores and cities all around America honor this age old tradition. HAHAHAHAHAHA. No they don’t. Those greedy rat bastards of retail deck the halls every year BEFORE Thanksgiving thereby stepping on America’s greatest holiday. If you MUST put them up, at least don’t light them until AFTER Thanksgiving.

2. Please please please, don’t call it Turkey Day. Not only does it offend the people of Istanbul, but it does take the “Thanks” out of Thanksgiving, which is what the holiday is all about.

3. Take a moment, just a moment to give thanks for all that you have.

4. Have a beverage of choice and crank to 11, the Wedwand traditional Thanksgiving Carol.

See you in December!


So it’s a milestone post today, the 100th post for Wednesday Wanderings, AKA Wedwand, AKA Tales from the hUMp. (1)

Wednesday is hump day, and Wedwand posts on Wednesday, get it? Of course you do and of course you think I ripped off the theme from that clever Geico ad with the camel in it. Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike. Well, I didn’t. My first post was on April 10, 2013. The Geico ad debut was on May 22, 2013. You can look it up.

It all started on April 10, 2013. Here’s the inaugural post in case you forgot. Likely you have forgotten, “The Courtesy Walk.”

Just today, I saw a man do the courtesy walk at the grocery store. As I waited at the stop sign while he shuffled through the cross walk, “asking people t-t-t- whatsa matter with you boy” arms a swingin’, I thought, “Hey, did you read my first post.”

More likely however, was that fact that is an unseasonable 75 degrees below zero in Chicago in November and the man was rushing for the warmth of the store. But, a camel can dream, can’t he?

The goal was to have a post each Wednesday, hump day if you will, to help you get through the rest of the week maybe with a thought in your head and a smile on your face.

So far, I’ve been like the pony express. In case you forgot that motto, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

Personally, the camel in me thrives on the gloom of night; it’s when I write most of the posts.

I’ve posted from three states, Illinois, California and most often the state of Confusion, but I’ve always managed to get one out there each week. Although, there was that one night after I saw a sixties band at a local park district Wednesday free concert that I was typing like crazy to get er done before my computer turned into a pumpkin. I got it in under the wire. Maybe you recall this one:

Why do you do this you may ask? To share some thoughts, vent some frustrations, induce a thought, recollect, and possibly make you laugh along the read. “Does anyone remember laughter?” Boy was that a cheesy interjection on the live version of Stairway to Heaven. And yes, Wedwand devoted a whole entry to song interjections.

Wedwand Fun Facts:
All the cover photos are original. Recent blogs 97 and 98 are among the better ones and were taken in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin and in Malibu, California respectively. At least 5 other states are represented in cover photos. However, most of them were taken in my basement from some random fantasy that the photo would enhance the prose. Of course, those photos were taken in the State of Confusion.

You may notice “footnotes” from time to time. Not that I need them, but it’s a tribute to my very first writing venture, a weekly sports column I had for my college newspaper called “Athletes Footnotes.” I was told it was good, the editors loved me and I only got censured once.

Personal favorite, well I like them all or I wouldn’t post them, but here’s one that stands out more than the others, that bright star midnight sky.

Well, here’s one more now near and dear to my heart,

Thanks to the loyal readers in Arizona, Arkansas, and Alabama. Also props to those in Illinois, Texas, Michigan and New York. Tulsa, Austin, Oklahoma City, Seattle, San Francisco, too …Wait, that’s Huey Lewis not me.

I detest when people say “I this” I that” I I I I did this and well in reading this there’s a lot of I’s because how else can I say thank you for your support?

Normally, there are very few “I”’s in Wedwand. There is also virtually no profanity. My theory is, if you need to drop the F Bomb to get a laugh, well then maybe you aren’t that funny to begin with.

So, here’s hoping you have a happy hump day.

1- I thought the capital U & M, creating the alphabetical illusion of a hump (hUMp) was ingenious, but nobody probably noticed.