You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2014.

003
Has this ever happened to you?

I was waiting in the checkout line at our local Jewel grocery store. I had finally moved up to the number two spot and was anxious to get the heck out of there with my purchase.

I was spying the purchase of the person who preceded me in line. (C’mon. Admit it. You do that too.) I was wondering why the heck she was buying two jars of hot sauce and three boxes of ice cream sandwiches but to each their own.

So the friendly young register girl says, “That will be $18.43.”

THEN AND ONLY then does the lady first begin to locate her purse as if she is surprised they are going to make her actually pay for this purchase.

She digs through tissue and lip stick and God knows what you ladies keep in those suitcase sized purses. I think there was a live rooster in there, maybe a pair of scissors too but I couldn’t be sure. She ultimately locates her wallet. Tick tock tick tock.

Then she fumbles through a wallet that’s the size of a brick and pulls out a five and a ten dollar bill, then starts rummaging for change.

I was ready to spring for the three bucks just to get out of there, but I would have insisted on at least ONE ice cream sandwich for the effort, so I just watched the show.

Ultimately she realizes she does not have $18.43 in cash and goes back into the brick wallet for a credit card. By this time, the ice cream sandwiches are looking just a tad soupy, but maybe THAT’S when you apply the hot sauce, who knows.

Three minutes and thirty seven seconds later she pays for her order and they double bag the hot sauce. She wheels out with ice cream dripping from one bag and hot sauce safely secured in another as the friendly young register girl (FYRG) says, “Thank you for shopping at Jewel. Do you need help to your car?”

NO, I’m thinking. She needs help realizing that when you go to a grocery store you have to pay for your purchase so have your cash ready. PLEASE!

So now finally, it’s my turn. I found a cherry deal on Cherry Coke. 79 cents for a two liter. It rings up at $1.89.

I politely say to the FYRG, “Uh, the sign says 79 cents.”

The FYRG replied. “Oh that’s the price when you buy 17 liters.”

Now I’m thinking. Do I really need one thousand one hundred ounces of cherry cola? I’m also wondering WHY I have to buy 17 liters of to get the discount?
And then I am realizing, America we ARE going metric. But it’s only with two liters of pop or do you call it soda? But hey, it’s a start.

I look at the FYRG. (It is at this point, I realize her name is Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola). “Forget the cola, Lola. Just ring up the peanut butter and bacon.”

But, I’m sure this has happened to you.

Advertisements

013
Food adjectives. They entice.
Those restaurant menus. They know how to do it.
One might not be inclined to buy a Pork Sandwich. But a Slow Cooked Carolina Barbeque Pulled Pork Sandwich sounds much more enticing.

Mashed potatoes. Love them but not too alluring. Whipped garlic herb red potatoes lures you. Can you give me a double order please?

Sometimes, I need to try that at home. For last Sunday’s cookout, we had orange glazed chicken on the barbeque with country hash brown potatoes and orange ginger glazed baby carrots. I also made baked peaches. The food went fast (except possibly all the carrots).

And there I saw it. My poor baked peaches. Nobody touched them.

“Hey! Anyone want to try these baked peaches?? They’re delicious.”

Not a nibble, literally.

But they WERE delicious and simple to make.

I know what you’re thinking. Wedwand, please share.

OK. If you the loyal reader insists and the camel concurs, we shall post. Besides, we haven’t had a food post for a while. Eat a peach (1) if you wish.

Ingredients

4 peaches (not too soft, not too hard, but just right, like Goldilocks bed.)
1 Tbs Pure Maple Syrup (Not that high fructose flavored stuff)
1/2 Tbs Pure Vanilla extract (Ditto on dodging the imitation vanilla flavoring)

Optional:
A shake of cinnamon or nutmeg
Plain Greek Yougurt.

Directions (Let’s make them fun cause the recipe is so simple)

Preheat oven to 275
In a small cup mix together the Maple Syrup and Vanilla

Slice the peaches in half.
This is a little tricky because they are peaches. As you know, peaches have a pit inside. so, you will not actually be cutting them in half to start with. Kinda do a 360 around the circumference of the peach and then give it a twist.

Remove the pit
Key part here. Let me repeat. REMOVE THE PIT. The pit can break your teeth and get stuck in your throat if you fail to remove it. People, please pit the peach or pay the price.
There should be a nice little crevice remaining where once there was a pit. Have a moment of silence for the dear departed pit. And, in that moment, you may want to gently scrape the gnarly red stuff that sticks to the peach after you remove the pit.

Fill the peach
If you have been doing your math, you know to add .187 of a tablespoon to each peach. Remember, you divided 4 peaches in 2 so now you have 8. God, I love math. You have 1.5 tablespoons of magic mix, so that comes out to .187 tablespoons per peach half. If your .187 tablespoon is in the dishwasher, just eyeball it and fill them evenly, like I did.

Bake them in the oven on a foil lined cookie sheet for 20-25 minutes.

After they cool a tad, you may top them with a shake of cinnamon or nutmeg and a dollop of Greek Yogurt. Mmm Mmm. delicious.

But nobody ate them when I called them baked peaches. What to name them then to entice?

Classic French style? Peaches Le sirop d’érable à la vanille
Nah, too pretentious

Czech peaches sounded cool. Javorový sirup Vanilla Peaches
But vanilla is still vanilla in Czech there so no mysterious allure.

Milli Vanilli Peaches
Almost, but remember, we used Pure Maple Syrup and Pure Vanilla. The name is disqualified again for lip synching

This is what I ended up with and here’s the simplified recipe if you care to try this at home.:

PEACHES ALLINAV ELPAM (2)

Ingredients

4 peaches, pitted
1 Tbs Pure Maple Syrup
1/2 Tbs Pure Vanilla

Optional
Cinnamon or Nutmeg
Plain Greek Yogurt

Directions
Preheat oven to 275
In a small bowl mix together the Maple Syrup and Vanilla
Slice the peaches in half remove the pit
Fill each peach evenly with Maple Syrup/Vanilla mixture
Bake on a foil lined cookie sheet for 20-25 minutes.
Top with cinnamon or nutmeg and a dollop of Greek Yogurt

FOOTNOTES:

(1) The Allman Brothers released an album called “Eat A Peach” in 1972. Urban legend had it that the title was so because Duane Allman was killed in a motorcycle accident in 1971 when he hit a peach truck. Not true. While he died in a motorcycle accident, he swerved to avoid a flatbed lumber truck. The title comes from a Duane Allman quote, “You can’t help the revolution, because there’s just evolution … Every time I’m in Georgia, I eat a peach for peace.”

(2) Allinav elpam is just Vanilla Maple backwards but sounds damn fancy.
Just don’t call them just baked peaches.

Other classic Wedwand Recipes in case you missed them:

https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2013/07/24/usin-whatcha-got-ii-paradies-meatloaf/
https://wedwand.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/usin-whatcha-got/

Categories

Advertisements