Has this ever happened to you?

I was waiting in the checkout line at our local Jewel grocery store. I had finally moved up to the number two spot and was anxious to get the heck out of there with my purchase.

I was spying the purchase of the person who preceded me in line. (C’mon. Admit it. You do that too.) I was wondering why the heck she was buying two jars of hot sauce and three boxes of ice cream sandwiches but to each their own.

So the friendly young register girl says, “That will be $18.43.”

THEN AND ONLY then does the lady first begin to locate her purse as if she is surprised they are going to make her actually pay for this purchase.

She digs through tissue and lip stick and God knows what you ladies keep in those suitcase sized purses. I think there was a live rooster in there, maybe a pair of scissors too but I couldn’t be sure. She ultimately locates her wallet. Tick tock tick tock.

Then she fumbles through a wallet that’s the size of a brick and pulls out a five and a ten dollar bill, then starts rummaging for change.

I was ready to spring for the three bucks just to get out of there, but I would have insisted on at least ONE ice cream sandwich for the effort, so I just watched the show.

Ultimately she realizes she does not have $18.43 in cash and goes back into the brick wallet for a credit card. By this time, the ice cream sandwiches are looking just a tad soupy, but maybe THAT’S when you apply the hot sauce, who knows.

Three minutes and thirty seven seconds later she pays for her order and they double bag the hot sauce. She wheels out with ice cream dripping from one bag and hot sauce safely secured in another as the friendly young register girl (FYRG) says, “Thank you for shopping at Jewel. Do you need help to your car?”

NO, I’m thinking. She needs help realizing that when you go to a grocery store you have to pay for your purchase so have your cash ready. PLEASE!

So now finally, it’s my turn. I found a cherry deal on Cherry Coke. 79 cents for a two liter. It rings up at $1.89.

I politely say to the FYRG, “Uh, the sign says 79 cents.”

The FYRG replied. “Oh that’s the price when you buy 17 liters.”

Now I’m thinking. Do I really need one thousand one hundred ounces of cherry cola? I’m also wondering WHY I have to buy 17 liters of to get the discount?
And then I am realizing, America we ARE going metric. But it’s only with two liters of pop or do you call it soda? But hey, it’s a start.

I look at the FYRG. (It is at this point, I realize her name is Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola). “Forget the cola, Lola. Just ring up the peanut butter and bacon.”

But, I’m sure this has happened to you.