I was crouched down low at the local department store, knees cracking, muscles aching, physically on the floor, leaning on my left side in an near fetal position looking for a pair of 38 or 40 waist jeans.   This size, which is my particular size, was “strategically” placed on the very bottom rack.

Why are the LARGER sized pants physically placed LOWER on the display racks at most major department stores?  Take a look if you don’t believe me.   Bigger guys need larger sizes so why put them on the bottom rack where they can’t reach them?

Conversely, I realized this dilemma adversely affects those of slimmer proportions who often times are shorter.

In fact, I saw a short skinny guy in the next aisle hopping up and down like a jack rabbit just to get to eye level of the 28-inch waist jeans on the top of the rack. He pulled a 32 then a 30 before he got one worthy of a dressing room trip.

I respect him for his skinniness and his perseverance. Damn, after all that, I hope the jeans fit him since he may have lost a size from all the exercise.

I let this pass.

Then last weekend, much as I hate to shop for apparel, I was out again, shopping for shoes.

The different styles were all neatly on display on a shelf atop a bin with cubby holes below holding the actual shoes available for purchase.  I found a pair I liked.

Men’s sizes 7 and 8 were up on the top shelves of cubby holes that progressively moved LOWER to the bigger sizes.  I was searching for a size 12 or 13 and finally found them.  Yep, you guessed it, bottom shelf.  Assume the position.  Knees prepare to crack before you even try on your foot wear.

So, I am still thinking this is no big deal as I go to the vending machine for a snack.

There on Level A, the top rack, are the potato chips and other chip sorts of things.  Fragile little things that they are, they bravely dangle anxiously awaiting the thrill of a good four foot free fall when selected.

Indeed, some whole chips will survive in tact, but many will be crushed on the fall.  Nice if your coating chicken fingers, not so much if you are looking to dip.

Underneath lies a Snickers bar on Level D, chocked full of nuts and chocolate, solid as a rock.  Studies show you could drop a Snickers from the Empire State Building and it would remain intact.

But bless the heart that decided to give it a spot on the D row of the vending machine just six inches from its destination.  M&M’s are there too.  A Butterfinger and a Crunch bar.  All confident they can make the fall in tact.

Many a chip could be saved each year if they had the D row.  I want to arrange a fund-raiser for them sometimes.  Save The Chips.

You want chips, but hesitate, fearing their fate on the free fall.   In the back of your head you hear the Hydrogenated Oil Band chanting to a rthymic bass beat, “Save the chips.  Save the chips.”


You don’t have a dollar and a half of change anyhow for a 5 ounce bag, so you decide to save the chips and move on and spend no money, just like you did with the jeans and the shoes.


Retailers, PLEASE realize what you put the customer through when you place your products poorly.  And when you look at the bottom line, remember we don’t care about your bottom line, we just don’t want our products there.


And we empathize on just how far a chips fell from grace to soar beyond that bottom line.  Wedwand is working at this very moment on the telethon to “Save The Chips” and awaiting rights from Tom Petty for “Free Fallin”.