I hear there may be an opening for a new host on the Food Network and I would like to submit my resume for the job.

I can cook. It took a few years for me to get it down, but I did. My first venture with chili involved tomato juice. It was good, but runny. I have evolved since those days. Since then, I actually won a chili cook-off at my office and people asked me for the recipe.

“Uh, recipe?” I replied. Some day I will have to write those down.

My wife meticulously follows the recipes when she cooks and she’s good, real good. Me, not so much on the recipe thing. Rarely use a measuring cup. Almost never use a measuring spoon. This has backfired a time or two, I will admit. (Hint: Make sure the spice has a shaker type top. If not, the whole darn thing goes in your stew with one swift shake.)

Usually, I go on line with something in mind for what’s left in the fridge. I print out 2 or 3 recipes that seem relatively similar in nature and spin my own original meal from that.

Last week, I realized I had a bag of tilapia fillets and some other stuff in the fridge that needed to be used. Here’s what I cooked.

I call it “Usin’ Whatcha Got …a Fishy Treat”:

Bake thawed tilapia filets in a casserole dish (we have a 9×13 casserole stone, so I used that) coated with olive oil at oh let’s say 350. I had 6 filets. Throw in a splash of lemon juice and white wine, not a lot, just enough so you can see it at the bottom of the stone.

Cook covered with the last 13 inches of aluminum foil in the drawer for 10-12 minutes. (Or, I love this one in recipes. Cook until done. But for this, cook until not quite done. Why? Because they will cook again). Take from oven and set aside to cool.

While the fish is cooking make the Tasty Tila Topping, (TTT)

Sauté in olive oil:
1 red pepper chopped
1 green pepper chopped
4 stalks celery (more or less if you have more or less)
1 onion chopped (6 Green onions if ya got em)

(I was thinking some black olives might have worked well with that, but alas, my wife had used the last 2 leveled tablespoons of those the night before.)

In a small pan heat 1/4 cup or however much is left in the sour cream container
Add half as much mayonnaise.
And if ya got some in your fridge, 1/4 cup or whatever’s left in a jar of Alfredo sauce.
Simmer at very very low heat until warm.

Using a 100 foot open frame fiberglass tape measure, chop the now cooled tilapia, into precise 1 ¾ inch cubes. JK. Just cut the tilapia 4 or 5 times.

Find that bag of flour tortillas that’s left in your fridge.

Like a Bob Marley Cuban cigar, roll equal amounts of the chopped tilapia and a heaping teaspoon of the TTT in the tortilla. (Not a measuring teaspoon. Use one of those in the drawer and eyeball it.) Place next to each other in that big brown casserole stone .

Top the tilapia tortillas with the remaining TTT then spread the sauce on top of that.

With whatever cheese you have left, sprinkle a light covering over the whole thing. (I had some shredded mozzarella & grated parmesan which I mixed together and it worked out good.) Colby or provolone or cheddar or whatever probably will work too if that’s what ya got. I don’t know cause I didn’t have any. (Using whatcha got baby.)

Cook until done. Hahahaha. When the cheese is melted, slightly brown, it’s done. Let’s say 10-20 minutes depending on your oven.

At this point, Emerill says BANG.
Me, I said nothing and waited. My wife is not fish lover.
Her comment, “I’m surprised. I actually like it.”
It worked.

Disclaimer: I recommended a small amount of white wine cooked with this dish. Reason: You may need the remainder for consumption if this recipe doesn’t work out.